So, I am sitting in a place that I know as "the black pit of despair" trying to rearrange my life in a way that is fitting to "Life after college".
I think I have finally figured out WHY I used to pile on all the work in the world in order to fill my time (other than it made good money).... I didn't have to THINK about the future! I would book myself so far in advance that I had to live in the present so that I didn't have to plan (or I had to plan so meticulously that all I could think about was the process). Well, it just won't work anymore, its time to face the music. As a part-time student and part-time worker I feel like I am sitting in a bad musical dance montage: "Too young to take over/ too old to ignore/ Gee, I'm almost ready/ but, what for?" (P.S. you get nerd points if you can name that musical). My super parent recently sent me a youtube clip of one of my peers I went to school with for 12 years. But it wasn't just that, it was the girl that lead the judgement and ridicule of my junior high career... and the video clip was of her great success she was coming into at our age... No one can make me feel like crap the way my parents can....
In other news, the VTA accepted my proposal, but they said don't contact us until January for anything. So... now I guess I should start contacting the city as we are 12 weeks from January. If everything goes according to plan, the Govenator will be signing my diploma and I will be on my way out of here and into real life before I know it... ::Sigh:: if only I knew what that entailed. Nervous and Scared are the words of the day... but for now I will read for my anthropology class. Blah.
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