It's kinda ridiculous how quickly things snowball.
I have been thinking about this blog since wednesday, and I know if I don't write it right this second I am going to let a week go by, and I just can't let that happen.
This week I started waking up with headaches again because I have been grinding my teeth again (a sign of my own stress levels) but to be honest I haven't been happier since I quit school.
The teeth grinding started almost 4 years ago, when I was working a million jobs, going to school full time, and heavily involved in church. I thought I had a brain tumor and was going to die when I went to the doctor. Stick out your tongue, he said. And when I did he immediately laughed and told me to see my dentist (apparently, when I opened my mouth there were signs on my back teeth of grinding... pretty gross huh?)
The silly part is that I am not truly happy until I am so stressed out with a full schedule that I am grinding my teeth. This week was full of staff meetings, networking for new dance things in San Jose, and other creative endeavors that I will talk more about once they get closer. But, on a whole, I am super stoked with what lies ahead.
On the blogging front, I have some super exciting news.
A Year ago I called my dad after a big career meltdown telling him I needed help finding a job. "What do you want to do?" asks dad. "I don't know", I replied! The answer from dad was so irritatingly easy I was angry I hadn't thought of it myself.
"Well, what would you do for free? That's what you SHOULD be doing. If you would do it for free, find someone who will pay you to do it... and that is your answer..."
This was long before I started blogging regularly, but the answer was definitely in my head... What would I do for free:
1)dance
2) write
3) sleep
Yea, right dad, like it's that easy. Well, 3 months later I was teaching dance and in a company in SF. And now, starting Sunday, I will officially be a paid blogger. That's right, readers! Number two of three has happened. Because I am still working out the kinks, I cannot give out the link today of the new blog, but just know, it's gonna be awesome! And I will still be writing here as promised, but it is official, and as much as I hate saying it: Dad was right. I was even leaving work the other day prepping for my big new project, and said to my friend/ collaborator "So this is it? I am officially a blogger now?" and she said back to me "Oh Natalie, you have ALWAYS been a writer" which pretty much made my day.
Dad says live the life you love... Now who wants to hire me to sleep and bake? I'll send you my resume right now :)
About Me
- Captain Q.
- I am who I am. Love it or hate it, I only change for me, for self improvement, and Self-assurance.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Shut it and Serve: The end of the week thoughts
I have often tried to figure out what makes a well-rounded person.
I know, it sounds ridiculous, but my parents spent many hours and dollars, shoving my sister, brother and I out of so many extra curricular activities that people are AMAZED at how many different instruments, sports, and other random skills I have (Karate, anyone?) This isn't the point. When on our way to and from this multitude of education, we often whined in the back seat WHY? Why mom, why do I have to sit in the back seat with my dumb sister and take piano between girl scouts and softball? All my friends are at home watching Real World. Well, my mother would look into her rearview mirror and explain that we must try everything, even if it is just once, because this will help us to be well-rounded individuals. We were, at almost all times, enrolled in a sport, instrument, and community organization of some form or another until we were old enough to refuse and pick one: my sister in sports, myself in Performing arts, and my brother in music.
Is this what makes a good well-rounded person? While this very well may be a start, i feel as though i have had some insight tonight to the other piece of the puzzle. Tonight i attended a launch party for San Jose's chamber of Commerce field guide to service. The guest speaker, so charming and bubbly had a lot of good things to say about community and san jose as a whole, but she had an analogy that i wished painted a clear picture for me about. While she had a lot to say that I took away with me tonight, her analogy was, "sometimes, when I walk my dog, I bring an extra bag with me and pick up a bag of garbage. Will that end world hunger? No, but I am hoping to do my part, and maybe inspire others to do their part...."
It was in that moment that I really think I found a solution: Service. Here's why: I have a group of friends, my age and a few older, ok, they are mostly older but not by much. and male.... and pilots, and they have a PASSION for crabbing about the state of the union.
Now, my mother might argue that they have a right to crab because they voted, but if there is a group of us younger americans that are skeptical and believe that the system is flawed... And in my own logic, and experience in working in groups, and the interest of cliches.... "if you want something done, you have to do it yourself"...
So what is my conclusion. It is obvious to ME that my system is flawed, but these bunch of nay-sayers who I love are missing the key ingredient: service. While you may work in a job that serves (pilots, teachers, etc.) that is just never enough! And, since I was raised in a very BUSY household (see extra- curriculars above), it does not make sense to sit and gripe.... at what point do we turn our distresses into action? and who will do it? If your answer to that question is "Not I" then I'm sorry, you have revolked all your rights to useless crabbing. Voting is not enough anymore. Action is the new bitching, because if you are going to sit and cry about it the way generations before us did... well then, you are going to end up with well, what we have now, which is obviously not ideal.
I have worked many odd jobs, from teaching and TA-ing, to backbar, event planning and catering, but the one common theme is that they have all, in some way, been a job of service, giving back and people oriented. And, while I am fairly new at this "no school to consume my whole life thing", I can honestly say that some of the most deep and meaningful friendships I have made have been with people working towards a common goal.
If you need help finding I place that needs your help, and sparks your interest, I can now help you find a place. And no more complaining. Anne Frank wrote, "How wonderful is it that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." Mother Theresa said "If you can't feed 100 people, feed one." Michael Jackson said "If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make the change."
I hope we can all continue to round ourselves out.
I know, it sounds ridiculous, but my parents spent many hours and dollars, shoving my sister, brother and I out of so many extra curricular activities that people are AMAZED at how many different instruments, sports, and other random skills I have (Karate, anyone?) This isn't the point. When on our way to and from this multitude of education, we often whined in the back seat WHY? Why mom, why do I have to sit in the back seat with my dumb sister and take piano between girl scouts and softball? All my friends are at home watching Real World. Well, my mother would look into her rearview mirror and explain that we must try everything, even if it is just once, because this will help us to be well-rounded individuals. We were, at almost all times, enrolled in a sport, instrument, and community organization of some form or another until we were old enough to refuse and pick one: my sister in sports, myself in Performing arts, and my brother in music.
Is this what makes a good well-rounded person? While this very well may be a start, i feel as though i have had some insight tonight to the other piece of the puzzle. Tonight i attended a launch party for San Jose's chamber of Commerce field guide to service. The guest speaker, so charming and bubbly had a lot of good things to say about community and san jose as a whole, but she had an analogy that i wished painted a clear picture for me about. While she had a lot to say that I took away with me tonight, her analogy was, "sometimes, when I walk my dog, I bring an extra bag with me and pick up a bag of garbage. Will that end world hunger? No, but I am hoping to do my part, and maybe inspire others to do their part...."
It was in that moment that I really think I found a solution: Service. Here's why: I have a group of friends, my age and a few older, ok, they are mostly older but not by much. and male.... and pilots, and they have a PASSION for crabbing about the state of the union.
Now, my mother might argue that they have a right to crab because they voted, but if there is a group of us younger americans that are skeptical and believe that the system is flawed... And in my own logic, and experience in working in groups, and the interest of cliches.... "if you want something done, you have to do it yourself"...
So what is my conclusion. It is obvious to ME that my system is flawed, but these bunch of nay-sayers who I love are missing the key ingredient: service. While you may work in a job that serves (pilots, teachers, etc.) that is just never enough! And, since I was raised in a very BUSY household (see extra- curriculars above), it does not make sense to sit and gripe.... at what point do we turn our distresses into action? and who will do it? If your answer to that question is "Not I" then I'm sorry, you have revolked all your rights to useless crabbing. Voting is not enough anymore. Action is the new bitching, because if you are going to sit and cry about it the way generations before us did... well then, you are going to end up with well, what we have now, which is obviously not ideal.
I have worked many odd jobs, from teaching and TA-ing, to backbar, event planning and catering, but the one common theme is that they have all, in some way, been a job of service, giving back and people oriented. And, while I am fairly new at this "no school to consume my whole life thing", I can honestly say that some of the most deep and meaningful friendships I have made have been with people working towards a common goal.
If you need help finding I place that needs your help, and sparks your interest, I can now help you find a place. And no more complaining. Anne Frank wrote, "How wonderful is it that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." Mother Theresa said "If you can't feed 100 people, feed one." Michael Jackson said "If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make the change."
I hope we can all continue to round ourselves out.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Resolutions, promises, and adventures
I Resolved to write once a week in my blog: BROKEN. No matter how hard I try, sometimes I have low points. I don't Just mean a typical gloomy day.
I had a communication teacher once tell me emotions are like a pendulum. The harder you love, laugh, and smile, the inverse is true also. So, while I mostly am in a secure spot of comfort and stability (one year later, if you read last years posts...) There are still days, no, minutes, where I throw myself onto the floor, question all my life's choices, and cry. UGLY cry. To the point where I see on my roommate or boyfriends face (depending on what venue I have selected for these theatrics) looks at me as if I am insane, and then steps over me and waits patiently for me to finish. As I write this, I can almost hear my dad chuckling, because these fits have not changed at all since I was a terrible 2, 13, or 18.
But it's true, and when I think my updates are going to sound like a self-loathing baby, I refrain. But. No more excuses, One update a week. AT least! FOR REAL THIS TIME.
I have also been reflecting a lot about the rest of my life. While I was soooo busy over the holiday I never blogged (oops!) I found myself more happy then I have been in quite sometime.
I have been drawn back to the blog for one reason in particular today: Documentation. and REAL accountability.
My roommate and I have been living together now for 6 years. Every year we say we are going to climb half dome, since I could remember... and it has YET to happen. For no good reason at all we say we will do it in summer every year, and every year we get to our holiday that we made up (yes... we made up a holiday, we are that awesome. We are SO cool that not only did we make it up, but someone later tried to steal it and miserably failed, but that is a different story...) and say, "Oh no! We did everything EXCEPT that yosemite thing"
While I KNOW we can do it, I feel there is a certain amount of training that goes into the hike if you want to enjoy it. Anyone can hike it, yes, but it is a long drive from Yosemite back to San Jose, and the less amount of pain I can be in, the better. So we have started our prep. And this year, we are going to do it!
For christmas this year Roommate gave me a new book... 60 hikes in 60 miles. It is, as it suggests, 60 parks and trails in a 60 mile radius of my house. The challenge is this: Commit to one a month (probably more as we get closer to a date) and hike the trail.
We are thinking if we go in august, that is 8 hikes: 2 easy, 4 moderate, 2 hard... minimum. Our first hike got us pretty excited, and we know have a running list of supplies we need, maps, and pictures.
The one thing I will say about our first hike (almost 2 weeks ago) was I got lucky. Not only does our book accurately navigate the trail, but San Jose is one of the only places I think you can drive 15 miles out of civilization and be passing a swedish commune and next to a waterfall. I am stoked to reflect, share, and invite anyone out their on the journey that will become Yosemite 2011
I had a communication teacher once tell me emotions are like a pendulum. The harder you love, laugh, and smile, the inverse is true also. So, while I mostly am in a secure spot of comfort and stability (one year later, if you read last years posts...) There are still days, no, minutes, where I throw myself onto the floor, question all my life's choices, and cry. UGLY cry. To the point where I see on my roommate or boyfriends face (depending on what venue I have selected for these theatrics) looks at me as if I am insane, and then steps over me and waits patiently for me to finish. As I write this, I can almost hear my dad chuckling, because these fits have not changed at all since I was a terrible 2, 13, or 18.
But it's true, and when I think my updates are going to sound like a self-loathing baby, I refrain. But. No more excuses, One update a week. AT least! FOR REAL THIS TIME.
I have also been reflecting a lot about the rest of my life. While I was soooo busy over the holiday I never blogged (oops!) I found myself more happy then I have been in quite sometime.
I have been drawn back to the blog for one reason in particular today: Documentation. and REAL accountability.
My roommate and I have been living together now for 6 years. Every year we say we are going to climb half dome, since I could remember... and it has YET to happen. For no good reason at all we say we will do it in summer every year, and every year we get to our holiday that we made up (yes... we made up a holiday, we are that awesome. We are SO cool that not only did we make it up, but someone later tried to steal it and miserably failed, but that is a different story...) and say, "Oh no! We did everything EXCEPT that yosemite thing"
While I KNOW we can do it, I feel there is a certain amount of training that goes into the hike if you want to enjoy it. Anyone can hike it, yes, but it is a long drive from Yosemite back to San Jose, and the less amount of pain I can be in, the better. So we have started our prep. And this year, we are going to do it!
For christmas this year Roommate gave me a new book... 60 hikes in 60 miles. It is, as it suggests, 60 parks and trails in a 60 mile radius of my house. The challenge is this: Commit to one a month (probably more as we get closer to a date) and hike the trail.
We are thinking if we go in august, that is 8 hikes: 2 easy, 4 moderate, 2 hard... minimum. Our first hike got us pretty excited, and we know have a running list of supplies we need, maps, and pictures.
The one thing I will say about our first hike (almost 2 weeks ago) was I got lucky. Not only does our book accurately navigate the trail, but San Jose is one of the only places I think you can drive 15 miles out of civilization and be passing a swedish commune and next to a waterfall. I am stoked to reflect, share, and invite anyone out their on the journey that will become Yosemite 2011
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