The posture of life

Cross Your arms. Do it. We've done it for years... Now try and think of something happy.... Something happy without a hint of sarcasm. Now think of something negative. Much Easier, yes? There are in fact, studies that show Crossed arms are showing defense, and regardless of "It's more comfortable to stand like this" (Teenagers often say this whence having an attitude), you have STILL put yourself in physical Defense mode.

Now Pull your shoulders back. Place your Palms forward and tilt your head up slightly. Now try and have a negative thought. Now a positive one. Which one was easier? Studies also show that this is the way you stand for gratitude. Seriously! I have done this in many classes with many people and on a whole the results are the same.

To me Posture is important. As a Dancer, you always want "good" posture. My boyfriend's family are chiropractors, adding to the perfect posture pressure. But these are minute reasons why I strive for Posture.

My posture changes, when my life is about to.

As a dancer, I find myself being very aware of my body. What it is doing, what it wants, and what it is lacking. In the last six months I have found myself more aware of my body than before, and this is probably the least I have danced in my life (SAD!)

This is also the most I have CRIED in my life ever. Not just because I came from the "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" family, but also because I have mostly been a happy person. But back in february, if you'll recall my teaching at 4:45 days, I would be up for almost 20 whole hours and then was expected to function on 6 hours of sleep. And Every Tuesday, around 11:15 when I would come home, I would throw myself into the arms of my patient boyfriend and whimper from exhaustion. I did this for a whole six weeks, before he noticed (chiropractor's kid) that my shoulders had begun to roll forward. NO! I thought, not my incredible posture. I gave up that teaching gig. 4:45 did not work for me.

In the first week of a job, I was put into a pretty high stress situation. I confidently walked through this 16 hour day feeling like I was running a gauntlet, when at the end of the day, tired and feeling self-defeated (yet never showing it in public) I found myself at the door of Boyfriend's. When he asked me how my day had been, I, defeated and embarrassed having given my 100% yet feeling though I had only achieved 60, collapsed yet again, into a puddle of tears on the floor, much like how I'm sure my mother might recall me as a toddler, yet I'm sure 22 years of maturity has toned down the dramatics of this ritual. And yet when my self doubt had left my body through my tear ducts, I found myself in Yoga Savasana, "the corpse" pose, and once I made this realization, I also made one about my job and how to remedy the situation. I pulled myself of the floor and went about life. And at the end of this toxic career (where I found myself crying over multi-layered frustrations) It was finally one night where I laid again in corpse pose on the ground with a tear streaked face realizing this was not my calling. Being MISERABLE IS NOT MY CALLING. I have spent my whole life studying how to make people happy, be it through listening, communicating, dancing, or just simply being. It was in this, what inyoga practice has been noted the most important posture, that I peeled myself off the floor and carried on.

It has been through this that I have discovered and found my bearings back into my ultimate plan, but recently, I have noticed that once again, like clockwork, my posture has yet again, begun to change... And I think it might be because my life in the near future is going to do so also.